Monday, October 22, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
You won't be even lucky enough to have an opportunity to make things better.
Best you can do is to try to hold your ground and stop things from getting more bad. In the end, you will fail. At least you'll be able to say that you have tried.
Or, you can go with the flow, greeting bad things as old friends forevermore. In the end, it all comes to the same.
Sometimes, you'll think that you can see a glimpse of hope in the distance. It will only prove to be a trick of faith to make you loose your grip so that things go rolling down even faster.
It would be comforting to know that this abyss has an ending. That at some point there won't be more going down.
Who knows if this is true? Who can tell if we'll ever know?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
The sound of my mobile phone woke me up, and, as Ivana was handing me the phone, I thought to myself: "I wish one code was 8 points! Just a dream, it's 3 or 4 points really." Sleep still in my eyes, I realised that the number calling me is unfamiliar, I've cleared my throat trying to sound not so just-woken-up at 11:30 and answered the phone.
"Hi, Ivana!" - I'm no Ivana, my brain told me, but I still managed to overcome the confusion and listen on - "Your Coca Cola prize has arrived and you can pick it up today. The address is..." So, I'm not my sister, but she registered for the game and gave my phone number. OK, I get that. But why was I dreaming of Coca Cola bottles? Had I just had a premonition in my sleep?
That was a weird start of a day.
OK, I know that this was a coincidence, but how strange is it to have two such occurrences in one day?
A thought came to me: how it is great that Gilmore Girls have been on for 7 seasons now without any cast changes, and how casts of many good series had caused those series to end because of unhealthy appetite for money (here the picture of The Friends cast emerges in my mind: is an outrageous million $ per episode really not enough?).
Being in good spirits I went to google The Gilmore Girls, looked at some fan sites, downloaded yet more wallpapers (this time of Gilmore Girls), and wondered what the Wiki has to say about my favourites. And there is was: On May 3, 2007, The CW announced that the series would not be renewed. According to Variety, "Money was a key factor in the decision, with the parties involved not able to reach a deal on salaries for the main cast members..."
(see the whole text here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gilmore_Girls)
Apart from a huge shock that my favourite series is to be no more, I was bewildered by the fact that just few minutes ago I thought about one thing that shortly after I stumbled upon online. I shook my head and glanced at the clock: it was minutes to midnight. With a dash of inexplicable relief I greeted a new day.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
People are melting, the electricity and water are being recklessly spent in attempts to cool them. Some are catching their skin cancers on the beaches while some try to escape to the sea where (ironically) the temperatures are even higher.
So I am sweating, feeling good for nothing, lazying from bed to armchair and back again, barely being able to watch TV and check my e-mail. Then I hear form my mom that she has to go over to grandma's tomorrow to help her clean kitchen cupboards since grandma has difficulty kneeling. I think that things like that can certainly wait for cooler days, but (knowing my grandma) if mom does not go tomorrow grandma will do it by herself event if it meant that she does it laying down.
My grandma, she is a 70-year-old on the verge of diabetes, suffering from high blood pressure and nerves, yet she manages to paint by herself her house several times a year (preferably in insane weather like this) and to keep everything in the house meticulously clean. Do I think she's crazy? Definitely! But you simply got to admire her!
Conclusion? Knowing myself it may seem that my gene pool has materialised from nowhere but I am more prone to blame the society: her generation was thought to live through work, mine to drown in idleness.
(cartoon from www.cartoongallery.co.uk)
Sunday, June 10, 2007
It didn't work out like I planned. As time passed I was more and more engulfed in the frenzy of finding a perfect place (in our price range, off course). I simply had to know every detail and to plan and plan an plan. It was my own fault of character, I'm well aware.Turkey has been our choice for this summer from the start, and luckily for us that we had limited our search to only one tourist agency. Otherwise, I suspect, we would search for our holiday for at least a year!
My only request turned out to be the tricky one. Whichever beach I saw in photos, I was never satisfied. I kept comparing them with our beautiful Strand (a beach on Danube in Novi Sad) and even more with the Golden Sands where I was a month ago. Try to imagine wide stretches of gold coloured sand caressed by playful waves of blue. Sea shells sunken in the sand. Enchanting blues of sea and sky blending in hazy swirls on the horizon, even and unspoilt by anything, endless, unreachable and surreal.
That is the picture I brought with me from Bulgaria and that is why no other beach seemed to measure up. Let's face it, the Golden Sands have "ruined" Turkey beaches for me this year.
Friday, June 08, 2007
It is not my style to be a wannabe journalist. I don't think that that style is for me. I like to write stories, not news. I want to explore personal feelings, not facts.
So, yes, we were in Bulgaria. It is an interesting country, where we felt at home and did not see the reasons why they are in the EU and we are not, considering that everything functions in similar dysfunctional ways in both countries. We saw and bathe in the Black sea. The coast is beautiful. People very friendly, although somewhat disorganised.
That would be the end of the report. Thank you very much!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
However, it is an all-Serbian custom to be casual to the extreme with the issue of being on time. This custom, sadly, is not exclusively Serbian, the fact that is used as justification of it. "We are not the worst ones", is often heard followed by examples of how people from some other countries are even worse than people here. Is this the best we can, to be satisfied (and proud!) of not being the worst? Should not this strike us as pathetic? I don't think it will, not ever, not here. Mostly because the masses are not accustomed to stop and think, not about issues like this, not about anything. They will be ferocious when having to wait for someone, even if being liberally late themselves. They will feel self-righteous and victimised, deprived of their precious time that could have been spent on something else - most likely something totally irrelevant, but who dares to deprive us from our right to waste our own time?
So, the general consent is that it is not all right to wait but it is to be late, especially to be the most late of all. That is our philosophy and got forbid that someone does not behave accordingly. These unfortunate souls are, apart from being condemned to eternally wait for others, also marked as fools, naives and are bestowed with no mercy nor compassion. Other nations famous for their punctuality are considered demented and twisted (there must be something seriously wrong with people that get to places on time, start events as scheduled, whose trains are never late). Masses would never think that those nations are simply being polite and considerate. Masses don't ask themselves why such nations are more prosperous. So what if they are prosperous when they are cold, inhospitable and heartless. Lucky us, when we have heart in abundance and instead of canceling a meeting at least half an hour in advance, we cancel it an hour and a half later.
Shamefully small number of people here think about others. Shamefully few has realised that I need to respect and value someone else's time if I want them to respect and value mine. That this problem has to be fixed on individual level and in our individual consciousnesses, so that it can stop to be a global one.
(photo by Tod, http://www.mediatinker.com/blog/index.html)
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sometimes minutes are enough. Sometimes mere seconds.
It creeps up on you slowly. You almost not notice until the fever is already beyond control.
Butterflies whooshing around you in crazy whirls. Nausea. Hypertension. Altered states of consciousness.
It is not a mere passion, rapture, longing. Not a psychosomatic incident. It is a pure physical addiction. The one that has no cure. The one that needs no cure. The one that makes it all worthwhile.
(photo by Kevin Lamb, http://krlphotography.typepad.com/)
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
1. the paper from which the modules were folded was too soft,
2. I wasn't patient enough, so I started to assemble the model before all units were folded,
3. I thought, being a semi-mathematician and relying on my good logical skills, that it will be easy to figure out the proper three-colouring of the ball (the proper colouring means that no two units of the same colours are next to each other).
So I was in the middle of assembling when I realised that I have made a mistake with colouring and that I cannot figure it out as easily as I anticipated. To solve this problem, I sent a question to ever-reliable O-list and after some time got several replies. I even received an email from Mr. Hull himself, which was WOW! He sent me a paper with explanations on how to construct buckyballs and how to three-colour them.
Unfortunately, by the time I received these emails and found time to made missing modules and to continue with assembling the ball irreparably lost its shape because the soft paper was not able to support the weight. I cannot describe how frustrating this was! I was disappointed, dispirited and in the end very angry so that the poor ball ended up in the trash can instead of being proudly presented to a friend of mine as a gift for receiving his master's diploma.
After I had cooled down, not being a quitter, I decided to learn from my mistakes and to start over. This time I used copy/printing paper which is much more rigid. It took me ages to make the ball because I was not in the mood to cut 270 squares. This year I decided to finally finish the project, done what was left of the cutting, folded all modules and the assembled them. this time I was better prepared, ready to be infinitely patient and my effort was rewarded. It took some musing and brain stretching until three-colouring algorithm was clear to me, but then everything went smoothly.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Everything was strange when she woke up: there was snow everywhere, men and women in tight outfits were whooshing around her on slender skis and the lazy balloons in vibrant colours floated in the air above her head. She new this place because she has been there many times in her dreams. It was the WinterPark land.
It was a wonderful though slightly windy day in the WinterPark land. The happy family of three jumping-bears was returning to their humble abode: the Hill. Coming near to their destination, the first and the big German jumping-bear called Martin stopped abruptly and said angrily: "Someone was jumping from my K115 hill!" At these words the second Swiss jumping-bear called Simon looked at the second hill and exclaimed: "Someone was jumping form my K90 hill too!" The third Austrian jumping bear called Andreas, now truly alarmed, looked at the third hill and said: "Look! Someone is jumping from my K64 hill just now!"
The three jumping-bears now looked all at the little Stella Goldilocks as she was landing from the third hill. Their anger subsided as they watched her graciously making the telemark: she was so little, so sweet and had the most adorable gold locks that were floating on the wind. By the time our little Stella stopped in front of them they were all ready to forgive her the intrusion and ask her to stay forever on their Three Hills.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
When I was a child I used to be sick so often that I got used to doctors, hospitals, needles. Seems to me that I have been much braver as a 12-year-old that I am now. I got spoilt and cowardly in the meantime.
It is not so difficult to go to a doctor when you're unwell. Then you have no option. But going to a doctor for a regular check-up - knowing that you ought to go for your own good, yet still don't wanting to go. That is upsetting.
Health has always been a sensitive topic for me. There were times when I was very suspicious when I felt OK. "There must be something wrong with something..." , I used to think. I still sometimes feel like that. Especially when I'm supposed to see a doctor.
So now the butterflies in my stomach are multiplying. Knowing myself, I'll probably be anxious by morning.
Then again, it will be over soon enough and everything will probably be fine again. At least until I look at my pocket book that will remind me that I am still to see my dentist, ophthalmologist and hairdresser (the last one being my biggest nightmare of the lot).
Friday, February 16, 2007
Not many people think about this, but I do. And I always try to appreciate the good things in my life including the life itself. Most of all I appreciate the love I have and the person I share it with. That is something I would NEVER take for granted! Or would I?
Talking on the phone with a friend of mine earlier today, I was taken aback with my reaction. She made an insinuation how happy and relaxed must I be because last night I went to see my boyfriend. I immediately made a sarcastic reply how the only thing that I could have gotten from that visit was loads of viruses (for my boyfriend is sick), and how, after all, I was there for only few minutes. Then she told me: "Yes my dear, but seeing him must have made you so happy!" And, of course, she was right. It did make me extremely happy to be able to spend even that little time with him. So why didn't I think of that instead of making a sad sarcastic comment?
This conversation got me thinking how lucky I am and how many lonely souls are there in the world!
Somehow, this doesn't seem to be a big deal, and someone might say that I'm splitting hairs and have no better things to do (which I do) than to think about trifles. To me it was not something insignificant. I was more a kind of warning so that I don't indulge in thinking that I am above taking things for granted. But moreover, it hurt when I realised how poorly, even though for a brief moment, I appreciated the best thing I have in life, a thing that only rare ones, blessed ones have and must cherish zealously lest to loose it.
Monday, February 05, 2007
(this awsome picture is from http://wolfpooka.deviantart.com/)
Friday, February 02, 2007
My favourite combination: cup of hot milk + two teaspoons of Nesquick + one teaspoon of sugar + 4 Plazma biscuits. That is the heavenly combination with serious healing effects: it remedies depression, bad mood, gloominess, heartaches, anxiety, sadness, full moon effects, PMS, boyfriend/girlfriend issues, loneliness and many other conditions. Trust me, it never fails.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Many people don't want to lend their books to others and just keep the books for themselves. That is selfish. I do understand the worries: in what state the book will be returned, will it be returned (at all), when (oh, when!) will it be returned etc. I've lived through it all. Sometimes my books returned to me in poor state, some of them have been read many times and it shows. Twice my books got lost, once in a bus full of my friends, the other time somewhere in the barracks where my friend was serving his "green time" *. Many of my books are failing to find their way home, some even for more than a decade. Luckily, I do keep records to whom I lend my books and I heartily recommend to all of you to do the same.
Anyhow, I don't mind sharing my literary treasures with my friends. The only thing I like to get in return is a "thank you", same as I say whenever I lend a book from someone. So, if you read this, think about sharing your books too. Why would they just stand on your shelves and collect dust when can give times of pleasure to someone.
This babbling about lending books is not just for the fun of it, it has a point, and the point is: my dear Friend, you who will be reading this post of mine, I don't remember you saying the magical words although you lent my book yesterday (though it wasn't given to you by myself). **
* If anyone is puzzled, by "green time" I meant the mandatory military service.
** Although it may seen that the last paragraph was written in pure spitefulness, I am positive that the mentioned Friend will know that I am just teasing him. :)
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Truth be told, I never new what to publish in my blog. I still don't have a clear purpose in my mind. Perhaps some random thoughts... This could be a good way to make myself to return to my old-and-everlasting flame: writing. It's about time, my dear!
So, thanks Alexa for reminding me about my blog!