Saturday, April 21, 2007

Grown up

Growing pains? Perhaps. One day you are a person, the next you are a grownup (a Lawyer, a Mathematician, a Waiter, a Wife).
It's time to grow up. It's time to become serious. I'll be a righteous member of the grown-up society. It's easy. No problem at all. Starting today I'll just stop to be who I was yesterday and mould myself into the expectations. I'll forget my old friends. Why would I need them, when now I will have colleagues? We'll stick to two or three conversation topics that we pretend to have interest in, because we were told that we ought to. What a great change! I won't have to think what I'll say. I'll have several widely known phrases to choose from and just drop them when my turn comes to say something. No need to remember all those birth dates because there will be always that one person that makes her business to know such things and to inform us. I won't need to worry about funerals either, things will be taken care of by someone in the name of us all. When I said serious, I meant it. No more laughing, no more witty jokes. No need to overwork your brain, everything is already prescribed anyhow. We'll tell each other worn old jokes everyone already knows, make a grimace simulating mild amusement and that will be enough. It's the safe way. No one will miss our too clever points, or laugh if we end up saying something, well, not so clever after all.I will go out once a week. At the same time. With the same people. At the same posh place (the more posh the better). And look at the same posh people, posers, standing there to be noticed and never to notice. My fashion sense has to be appropriate. My new colleague-friends already have the list of places to shop at. They will be there for me to help me choose the best outfits that will fit in and consequently make me fit in. Is that too much to ask from life, to fit in? And yes, I will find a husband. Must do that soon before all appropriate ones are snatched. "How do you do. Tell me about yourself: income, position, ambition, wealth, real estate, family tree and references." Nothing without references! I plan to be an exemplary wife. To satisfy my husband's need not to be bothered after a hard day at work. Being a career woman too, I'll have to learn to balance my work and my motherly obligations. I've heard that the boarding schools do miracles for a child. The younger it is sent, the better chance in life it will have. Won't it be great to live this grown-up life?
Grey glasses for life. Different shades of grey, but nevertheless, same good old safe colour. The choice of masses. How sad, yet how true.